I have found myself thinking and praying a lot this week. Not that I don't think or pray normally haha...just more than usual I guess. Two weeks ago I decided that I wanted to try to get Isaac to take a bottle again. So I could have some more free time and leave every once and a while. He used to take one so I didn't think it would be a big deal. How wrong was I lol. He refuses...closes his mouth up, cries and won't even suck on it. I kept thinking...what am I doing wrong...what do I need to do to get him to take a bottle...why won't he take one...am I going to be nursing him forever lol.
I have also been thinking a lot about what God's plan for me is. Is it really as simple as staying home with kids during the day? How silly I am sometimes.
But after a lot of praying and a lot of thought their paths seemed to cross into one thing and things seemed to make sense. They seem to make even more sense as I write them down now. My job is to be the best mom and wife I can be. I am sure of it. We lost a whole income 7 months ago...and we still pay the bills every month. This could be only God's doing. When I still enjoy being with all four kids at the end of the day...I am very certain this is God's doing. When I feel a sense of pride in taking care of our house for my family...this is God's doing.
For me, being the best mom I can be means being here for Isaac whenever he needs. I am not going to lie...there are times, especially in the middle of the night I wish he would take a bottle. But my job is to be the best I can be...and that means being here for Isaac every 3.5 to 4 hours. I still almost cry when I think about trying to force him to take a bottle. He obviously doesn't want one...he wants mommy. And why would I ever want to change that. So instead of wishing for free time...wishing for sleep... or wishing I could have a large dr. pepper or other foods that bother him, I have changed my perspective. I think about the wonderful bond I have with this little guy. I think of how he cuddles with me and gives little kisses. I think of how I am doing the best thing for him and that makes me happy. I have found myself enjoying feeding him at night now. Sure I am tired...but what mom isn't! And when I am feeding him in the middle of the night the house is so quite..it's just him and I rocking away. It's peaceful and soon he won't need it anymore so I will treasure every moment of it.
I am still working on what it means to me to be the best wife. Perhaps I should have Jon write his thoughts on that one lol. But I am reading the book A Wife After God's Heart. It really is a good book and I am enjoying it. I will say that this past week I enjoyed folding the clothes and cleaning the house a lot more. It means a lot to me to do things for my family, even if they are small things. I have found that when I do the small things during the day it means Jon and I have more time together during the evening.
So I will keep praying for God to help me and I know with his help I will be doing exactly what he wants me to be doing.
4 comments:
It's so weird I logged on here right now....cause you know how much I hate going into the closet to check my email; and how bad I am at checking your blog!! :) But I have to say...your prayers and 'doing the best you can at being a stay at home mommy' have also answered my prayers. Because of you, and the strength God gives you everyday, I get to go to work guilt-free and without worry that my babies aren't being loved any less than I would love them. Your prayers for strength and patience are answered alongside my prayers for the safety, love and stability for my children that I know they receive every single day at Auntie Christy's house. :) tear* tear* tear* I love you, and most importantly my kids love you. Your faith and ability to be home has given me stronger faith because the ONE worry I used to always have (that Miss Maddie May was missing Mommy too much when I went to work), I don't have that worry anymore. I know that when God answered your prayers, he answered mine at the same time. How amazing is it that without knowing; we had the same prayer?
Oh Christy. I know exactly what you're feeling. I do. I could write a book's worth of stuff about it! You are doing an amazing work right there in your home! Don't ever discount the eternal impact you are having on your boys and your niece & nephew. You are a great wife, mom and aunt!
Sometimes I think it's easy to think that staying home, being a mommy or a wife, is of little importance. But don't let Satan fool you -- as he wants you to think that way. The job you are doing now will have eternal rewards far greater than any pay check could ever provide. And as God has said and you are seeing examples of, "He is faithful and just to provide all your needs." Praise God for your dependence and faith on Him and we pray that He strengths you daily for the "job" you face. Believe me, I am proud so proud of you! And when I see all four of those little ones light up when they see you, I know you are doing God's will. Hang in there, cause I know some days are tough.
Well said Christy! Thanks so much for sharing your heart and journey with the Lord. I love it when He brings us to places where we understand, especially after long periods of wondering. You are doing a terrific job, keeping your sense of humor, and somehow have enough love and PATIENCE to give all those kids at the same time. I agree with you- it's God's doing. And on days when you don't feel like everything is so clear, just remember that He will carry you! He's done it this long and He certainly has amazing plans for your family :-)
Post a Comment